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MartinlfMarch 12th, 2007, 10:42 am
Palmyra PA

Posts: 3229
Years ago an old friend sent me this. I dug it up recently and thought it might give some of us a laugh. Forgive the slightly off color nature of it, but Taxon paved the way with those pornographic mayfly diagrams.

18 Reasons why Fly Fishing is better than Sex

18 - You don't have to hide your Fly Fishing magazines..
17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.
16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything about Fishing.
15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing,you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
12 - When you see a really good Fisherperson, you don't have feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.
10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.
9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.
7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for harassment.
6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"
"He spread them a yard and a half. 'And every one that got away is this big.'"

--Fred Chappell
SofthackleMarch 12th, 2007, 12:35 pm
Site Editor
Wellsville, NY

Posts: 540
Hi Lou,
Great post on a day when everyone is itching to get out.

"I have the highest respect for the skilled wet-fly fisherman, as he has mastered an art of very great difficulty." Edward R. Hewitt

Flymphs, Soft-hackles and Spiders:
TroutnutMarch 12th, 2007, 2:17 pm
Bellevue, WA

Posts: 2737
6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.

I guess they're not counting mosquitoes and leeches. After what happened with the latter last year, I won't be wet wading anytime soon.

1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"

Hmm... the author apparently never takes his girlfriend fishing!

16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything about Fishing.

Well, that's true, but the rest of the Bible is not so kind. Here's Leviticus 11:9-12:

These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Apparently God isn't fond of aquatic invertebrates. This passage inspired a very amusing website, But Leviticus, by some oversight, doesn't single out the Decapod infraorder Caridae (shrimp), so mayflies are also in hot water.

By the current count of my database, if I end up at the Pearly Gates I will face at least 2,616 charges of distributing a photograph of an abomination. I figure that while St. Peter is reading down the list I'll just sneak in the back.

One could argue that it's okay to take pictures and tie imitations of abominations, so long as one doesn't eat them. That may be true, although I could probably still get in trouble for this:

Jason Neuswanger, Ph.D.
Troutnut and salmonid ecologist
AftonAnglerMarch 13th, 2007, 6:03 am
Brule, WI

Posts: 49

I regularly eat a mayfly or two in the early season to prime the pump and kind of get more trouty...

I like the Hendrickson duns the best.
See you on the Water.

Brad Bohen

The Afton Angler
StanislavMarch 14th, 2007, 1:20 pm

Posts: 22
I prefer Caddisflies;) ... and with a friend... we think to catch some freshwater scuds an try to make a soup...It`ll be smth like shrimp soup!
The life is too short to fish a bad fly
Shawnny3March 15th, 2007, 7:53 am
Pleasant Gap, PA

Posts: 1197
Nice, Martin. I definitely select fishing partners with the same scrutiny I applied back before I married my wife. I get nervous when I meet someone online who seems too eager to get together (fishing predator). Sometimes someone offers to go fishing an hour after we've met for pizza and a few beers (fishing sorority girl). Sometimes someone I've just met on the stream offers me a few beers and then wants to fish together (fishing fraternity brother). Sometimes, after fishing with someone, they're eager to get back together for another session and I'm thinking, "Yeah, don't call me, I'll call you." There are those who are too cerebral (using Latin names in the first 5 minutes), too insensitive (talking about killing fish in the first 5 minutes), too arrogant (immediately prejudging anyone with a spinning rod), not arrogant enough (packing a spinning rod "just in case they're not rising"), too full of themselves (always talking about their fishing exploits), too full of their gear (as if I'm the kind of girl who will fall for a guy who drives a Beemer with a portable Renzetti on the steering wheel)... I could go on and on. But then, sometimes I go fishing with someone for the first time and we really hit it off. On very rare occasions, I even find myself picturing being with them during a perfect evening hatch, thinking, "Could this be The One?"

Jewelry-Quality Artistic Salmon Flies, by Shawn Davis
MartinlfMarch 15th, 2007, 2:26 pm
Palmyra PA

Posts: 3229
Great answer to the original 18 reasons!
"He spread them a yard and a half. 'And every one that got away is this big.'"

--Fred Chappell

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