Troutnut.com Fly Fishing for Trout Home
User Password
or register.
Scientific name search:

> > The Flaming Gorge

FalsiflyNovember 18th, 2008, 10:03 pm
Hayward, WI.

Posts: 660
March 2nd 2005 2:20 PM. I checked into Dutch John; purchased my Utah nonresident 7 day fishing license, and Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area pass. This was the first week of a seven week trip; the remainder would culminate in Colorado. Over the years Iíve read many references to the Greenís fantastic fishing, which precipitated this occasion. It was with much anticipation that I greeted the Green. To explore and unravel the mysteries of a new fly fishing experience is my ultimate endeavor.

Day three:
During the previous two days I had been mesmerized by an all day hatch of the ubiquitous Midge. The fish were lined up along the slow water, tight to the bank, eagerly taking any dry presented in the 22 to 24 size range. But today the hatch had been cancelled; evidently I hadnít paid sufficient homage for my previous success. No, today the cap on the aquatic world had been sealed, what had once been rife with excitement was now depressingly void. So, I reluctantly decided to nymph my way up into the Red Gorge, trying some of the more turbulent water. As I slowly advanced my offense, working up river, it became increasingly evident that my tactics were lacking. It was fast approaching the noon hour, and all effort to this point was of no avail. I began frantically searching the deepest recesses of my mind, trying to coerce from memory that perfect combination of imitation and presentation, that would pique the pea brained Pisces to pick-up. It was then, while I was going through one of my many fly boxes, I think for the second time, that I noticed an old salmon egg imitation, buried at the bottom of a mass of tangled flies. I hadnít seen it in years. Many years ago, as a neophyte, I had used this despicable thing. It was on a private stretch of the Frying Pan from which I had wretched a twenty-seven inch Rainbow, my biggest fish to date. When I say ďwretchedĒ what I mean to say is; can you imagine catching the fish of a lifetime on a salmon egg imitation? It kind of takes the wind out of your sail doesnít it? Well anyway, I thought Iíd eliminated all trace of this incriminating evidence long ago. My worst fear was that one of my fishing buddies would spot this in my box; I may as well have been carrying a jar of the real stuff. Surely I would have been shunned, if not down right banished, by my fellow elitists. I grabbed my forceps and deftly plucked it from its place, reveling in the sweet-sour memory it produced. It was at that very instant that it suddenly hit me. Now at this point some of the more astute fly fishers might be thinking, that I was thinking, of trying this salmon egg. I can assure you that I would never stoop that low. Can you imagine how I would feel if I caught an even bigger fish on the damn thing? No, what hit me were the eggs I had for breakfast. Iím not sure that the word ďhitĒ quite conveys the essence of the meaning Iím trying to get across, because it lacks that element of urgency. I immediately began a frantic search through my eighty-pocket vest for the pulpwood double-ply, which at a time like this I deem essential, but came up empty handed. How could I have forgotten the one staple, necessary for those unexpected emergencies, which often plague day long excursions? Instantly my mind became crystal clear, focused on only one thing, the most intense concentration of sphincter control I could muster. To compound my precarious situation, I found myself closely joined by many a fellow sportsman, I was in no position to just drop trou. Immediately I scanned the area for a concealed spot to void myself of the vile demon that was rapidly slithering its way to an exit, but no such spot of concealment was close at hand. At the very moment when I thought all hope had been lost, just as I was about to relax all resistive effort allowing myself to transcend from one hell to the next, a single ray of salvation caught my eye. There! Perched atop the hill, about a hundred yards away, stood a structure, monolithic in stature, standing tall as a beacon of hope, luring me as if the song of the Siren. The Park Department, had, in its infinite wisdom, erected an OUTHOUSE. The race was on, and every step closer was met with an ever increasing internal struggle; stronger doubt and increased hope. Was the Sirenís song going to lead to my demise, the failed attempt to successfully deposit the demon into the pit for which it is most deserving, and eternally soil the interior of my new Orvis waders? More than once I considered abandoning the effort, but the sphincter held tight. At about thirty yards the fly rod was hastily cast to the brush, ridding myself of its encumbrance without any concern, as if; rod be damned, away with you. In the next ten the vest was flung over my shoulder to the ground, as if a discarded piece of refuse. The last twenty yards was fraught with dropping the waders and pants to my ankles, without impeding forward progress, a challenge to even the most athletic. A technique I perfected that day, I call it the (wayward wader waddle). Simple, really, if you understand physics; when distance traveled per step over time, is impeded by a shorter distance traveled per step, then an increase in steps over time is necessary, if time is to remain the fixed constant, and in this case time was of the essence. A gut splitting sight Iím sure. I hit the door just as my wayward wader waddle withered, and in one final hop skip and jump, launched myself atop the throne. The impact ruptured the sphincter seal and the gates of hell were opened.

I left the FLAMING GORGE.


Falsifly
When asked what I just caught that monster on I showed him. He put on his magnifiers and said, "I can't believe they can see that."
TaxonNovember 19th, 2008, 4:47 pm
Site Editor
Plano, TX

Posts: 1323
Allan-

Having had similar experiences, occasionally less satisfactory concluded, your eloquent description of the dreaded event brings a smile to my face.


Best regards,
Roger Rohrbeck
www.FlyfishingEntomology.com
Al514November 19th, 2008, 5:23 pm
Central New York

Posts: 142
I agree with Roger - quite an amusing read to start off the day.
McjamesNovember 20th, 2008, 2:50 pm
Cortland Manor, NY

Posts: 139
It reminds of the time I was visiting a GF at her family's home, the first time I met her parents and siblings. I went out for a run on Saturday morning and returned wearing only one sock, which, when events were explained, greatly entertained the father and horrified the little sister.
I am haunted by waters
DGCNovember 21st, 2008, 6:37 am
Chambersburg

Posts: 10
My dearly departed old man and I were doing a float trip for smallmouth down the James River in Va, when he had a similar requirement for relief. As it happened we stopped adjacent to a cow pasture, an apt spot for this activity. I stayed in the boat while the senior fellow scrambled up the bank. While doing his business, a number of the cows decided to investigate more closely what was going on.

Once back in the boat, he assured me that being under such close scrutiny by such large animals whilst in such a vulnerable position was disconcerting to say the least.

By the way, for those of a Freudian persuasion, I wouldnt read too much into this thread.

Quick Reply

You have to be logged in to post on the forum. It's this easy:
Username:          Email:

Password:    Confirm Password:

I am at least 13 years old and agree to the rules.

Related Discussions

TitleRepliesLast Reply
V Hopper
In Fly Tying by AndresT
0
Re: Winter Steelheading in March
In the Photography Board by Pryal74
4Mar 15, 2011
by Pryal74
Re: For the post made about "fighting for fish", I know what they mean!
In the Photography Board by Flybinder
7Dec 15, 2007
by Flybinder
Re: Elk River British Columbia Rising Cutthroat Trout August 2018
In Fishing Reports by Srfwl
5Dec 6, 2018
by Martinlf
Re: Possible PED mayfly ( Epeourus)
In the Identify This! Board by Leskorcala
5Sep 10, 2020
by Leskorcala
Re: This was hard to walk past
In Site Updates by Troutnut
2Jul 27, 2017
by Partsman
Where The Big Fish Rises...Coming on DVD December 2013
In Gear Talk by Balkanboy
0
Re: South Central PA spring Fishing
In the Photography Board by JOHNW
3May 2, 2011
by Flatstick96
Re: Nine mile creek
In Fishing Reports by Darcfly
1May 21, 2015
by Troutnut
Re: Caddis size 14
In Fly Tying by FredH
5Oct 5, 2010
by FredH
Most Recent Posts
Knocking the Rust Off
In Fishing Reports by Summer_doug
Re: Gila Trout near Silver City NM
In the Photography Board by JJTrout (Summer_doug replied)
Re: Looking for best rod in $200-$250 range
In Gear Talk by JJTrout (Spoofer replied)
Northern Iowa Stonefly
In the Identify This! Board by Pdcox
Green Sedge
In the Identify This! Board by Wiflyfisher
Re: Unidentified Baetidae
In the Identify This! Board by Benthosfan
Re: Please confirm Ephemerella needhami
In the Identify This! Board by Jorowan (Doug1234567 replied)
Re: Where to find Rio Grande Cutthroat Trout
In General Discussion by JJTrout (Martinlf replied)
Re: Fishing rod sensitivity!
In Gear Talk by Grayson (OliverJames replied)
Re: Repeat of Niangua ID thank you Roger
In the Identify This! Board by Pdcox (Taxon replied)