Troutnut Forum > Fly Fishing Discussion > Fly Tying with Jack
| Falsifly | January 3rd, 2008, 12:13 am | |
| Hayward, WI. Posts: 108 | After reading Mcjames’ post, mentioning Jack Daniel’s in the CHRISTMAS PRESENTS discussion, I decided to purchase a bottle and give it a try. I first stopped at the local Fly Shop to see if they had a bottle. I was told that their supply had been depleted; it seems that someone had mentioned it on some Trout Fishing forum and it sold out that same day. The owner did state that he had a personal bottle stashed in the bottom drawer of his tying bench but that he would fight tooth and nail before giving it up. So I bought a single #22 Griffith’s Gnat after which he suggested that I might find one across the street at the liquor store. He said he didn’t think fly tiers frequented liquor stores so there should be plenty on hand. I thought great advice, thanked him and left. Well, while crossing the street I damn near bought the farm. Some sob in a pickup truck almost ran me over and didn’t even slow down. As I watched him weaving down the street I noticed a big arching decal across the rear window. It said JACK DANIEL’S. I thought to myself what a coincidence. I made it into the liquor store and asked the clerk where I could find the Jack Daniel’s. He led me to the mash whiskey section and sure enough there was plenty. I couldn’t help thinking, boy those Fly Shop guy’s really know their stuff. At the check out counter I asked if it could be gift rapped and he obliged. Once home I ripped into the paper bag like a kid during It’s first conscious Christmas. I first examined the label for any instructions but only found words like, Old Time, Old No 7, Tennessee, 80 Proof, Mature Taste, and the like which didn’t make much sense too me. I did find this on the side label and I will quote “We all know age isn’t the same as maturity. It’s true of people and it’s true of Whiskey. Experience determines maturity” now that my friend is a truly sapient statement. This stuff has to be good right? After a three day binge of tying with Jack this is what I found; the more Jack you add the longer the tying session becomes. There is always time for one more. Creativity was definitely enhanced. I came up with several new patterns; The Super Stupor, The Bungle Bug, The Stutter Bugger, The Giddy Girdle Bug, The Puking Parmachene Belle, and The Slaphappy Sally which when tied Parachute style became what I now call Helicopter style, and I haven’t even begun perfecting what I call my Dumb Numb Nymph. I tied until 3AM passing out at the bench awoke at noon called in sick and continued on. I swear I reached a point where I could tie two flies at the same time. That was when I knew I was really on to something. I then discovered that if I wanted to tie just one fly all I had to do was close one eye. Another thing I noticed was that in the past my neck and back would start to bother me but for some reason the pain wasn’t there. Again I tied until 3AM awoke at noon and called in sick. But this time my boss fired me, which caused a one sided verbal release from me containing a long rolling list of expletives and threats. My only regret was that Jack had to witness the exchange. But what the heck now we have more time to devote to tying. Running low on Jack, Jack and I headed out to purchase a case of our favorite dying and preserving medium, it’s always best to have plenty on hand. It’s great to meet and make a new friend. As a matter of fact Jack and I have become so good at tying together that we have started a new fly tying video. TYING ONE ON WITH FALSIFLY AND JACK. We decided to do it in a series of five and we can’t wait to get to the fifth. | |
| Falsifly Designated by Troutnut as the heir to Pat McManus | ||
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| Martinlf | January 3rd, 2008, 8:54 am | |
| Palmyra PA Posts: 907 | Great, great tale. I'm going to PM you an old one of mine from another post, but it isn't as good. Thanks for some good great fun. By the way, I grew up twelve miles from the Jack Daniels distillery, and two summers ago with my sister, wife, and two daughters, toured it for the first time on a trip home. One of my best friends, a whiskey connoisseur, much prefers the top end stuff they offer called "Gentleman's Jack," but I can't tell the difference. It is all made with water from a limestone spring, and though I looked for trout, saw none in the water there. | |
| Louis Is it not an art to deceive a trout with an artificial fly? A trout! that is more sharp-sighted than any hawk . . . and more watchful and timorous than your high-mettled merlin is bold! --Izaak Walton The Compleat Angler | ||
| Falsifly | January 3rd, 2008, 11:11 am | |
| Hayward, WI. Posts: 108 | Louis- Thank you for the kind words. I kind of felt that the posts and replies were tapering off and coupled with the rather heated discussions in the not so distant past I felt that maybe a little humor was in order. If you will forgive my extremely deficient writing skills and if anyone would like me to continue I am more than willing. Believe me when I say that the story is just starting to unfold. | |
| Falsifly Designated by Troutnut as the heir to Pat McManus | ||
| Mcjames | January 3rd, 2008, 11:38 am | |
| Cortland Manor, NY Posts: 77 | Super Stupor and Bungle Bug, hilarious... my buddy once tied a hideous concoction he called the Ridley Stain (Ridley Creek is a much abused stream in suburban Phila, where we grew up). One night while drinking beer and fishing for largemouth at Springton Lake Reservoir he put it on and cast, and nailed a juvenile muskie... I laughed so hard I sat in the lake. | |
| I am haunted by waters | ||
| Falsifly | January 3rd, 2008, 12:03 pm | |
| Hayward, WI. Posts: 108 | I think it was the fifth or sixth day after meeting Jack that my Mother-in-Law called. She asked if I would mind if the Wife and Kids moved in with her. I said nell ho I mean hell no and before I could get the next word out she hung up. Well that really pissed me off. Ya know I never did like that $!+(# anyway. Well I decided to talk it over with Jack and it wasn’t long before I started feeling warm and fuzzy inside. I realized that she was only looking out for my best interest. I mean what harm could be done by removing that nagging wedge between my new friend Jack and I. Mom, if you are reading this I take back what I said and I love you. I hope someday you will come to accept Jack as the caring and passionate friend he is. Well, with that out of the way I put my arm around Jack and gave him a big bear hug and we headed downstairs to the tying bench. It was getting after noon and we were late starting our tying session. As you will recall we are busy making our new fly tying video. I grabbed a #12 TMC 5212 hook and proceeded to bury the barb smack dab into the tip of my index finger all the way to the shank. I then immediately clamped the hook into the vise extra tight. Lesson number one, always securely attach the hook. It wasn’t long and I began to see red. Well, seeing red I simultaneously thought San Juan Worm. In this sequence we wanted to show the versatility of Renzetti’s rotary capability. So with my left index finger I began to wind the rotary lever. It was a little hesitant to move at first but it got easier with each revolution. I wrapped the most perfect spiral of finger flesh you have ever seen just short of the eye. I tied off the flesh with clothes line cord, trimmed off the excess with tin snips, and whip finished with my Hamilton Beach blender. Realizing I was probably short of remaining finger flesh to tie another fly it dawned on me. As learned earlier all I needed to do was open both eyes and presto two perfect flies. I removed the flies from the vise and handed them to Jack to preserve and fix the color. I than had Jack help me with my finger, it didn’t hurt it just tingled. I’ve got to tell you Jack is one great guy. I should mention that Jack is an expert with the camera. He says that it comes from his being nurtured and matured in a cask, I think he mean't darkroom. After that he spent a lot of time looking thru glass. I guess it just comes natural. I still can’t figure out why he always sets up the camera from behind my chair. It seems to me that every time I sit down it blocks the view. But who am I to question an expert. I got to tell you I am really starting to like Jack. | |
| Falsifly Designated by Troutnut as the heir to Pat McManus | ||
| Shawnny3 | January 3rd, 2008, 5:54 pm | |
| Pleasant Gap, PA Posts: 541 | Very, very funny stuff, Falsifly. This little web column is really taking off. Awaiting the next chapter, Shawn | |
| Jewelry-Quality Artistic Salmon Flies, by Shawn Davis www.davisflydesigns.com | ||
| Falsifly | January 3rd, 2008, 6:31 pm | |
| Hayward, WI. Posts: 108 | Well it wasn’t long when Jack and I discovered that we were running short of tying material. And if you recall I had lost my job so money was getting tight. Not only that but the expense of maintaining Jack’s friendship had taken its toll on my savings account. So once again I turned to Jack for help. After a long discussion Jack suggested I take him to meet the owner of the Fly Shop. Well I rapped my arm around my buddy and we walked to the truck. I placed Jack right there in the front seat along side me. We were really becoming close friends by now. We drove to the Fly Shop and I entered the store with my arm around Jack. When I introduced Jack to the owner, who had introduced himself as Bob, you should have seen the smile on Bob’s face. If you remember, Bob had known Jack but since Jack and I had become such close friends Jack was getting hard to find. As a matter of fact I pretty much had Jack all to myself you couldn’t even find Jack at the liquor store any more. Like I said, Jack’s undivided attention came at a heavy cost. So I explained my situation to Bob and He said, “You bring Jack in here any time and leave him with me and you can help yourself to anything”. Well I had to think this one over, I even took Jack into the back room to discuss it with him. You see I don’t take kindly to sharing Jack but considering the circumstances I had no choice so I agreed. I missed my buddy Jack not being there beside me so much that I had a case of the shakes the whole way home. I parked the truck in the drive, entered the house through the front door and made my way to the kitchen. It was at the entrance to the kitchen that I got the surprise of my life. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There sitting on top of the table was my buddy Jack. In my haste to reach him I started swaying and stumbling like a drunken sailor. I knocked over a couple of chairs tripped and caught my chin on the edge of the table cutting my lip and biting my tongue. In the ordeal I managed to grab Jack by the neck bring him to my lips and I kissed him so hard I nearly sucked the life out of him. God it was good to see Jack. We both agreed that it was time to start another tying session so we once again headed downstairs to the tying bench and once again I had my arm securely wrapped around Jack. I had come across a rather rare find at Bob’s, it was a small package of #36 hooks. The printing on the package was so small that I considered contacting Bell Laboratory to see if I could borrow their electron microscope. There are certain brands that I refuse to use. Well, because of this rare find Jack and I decided to do a short session on the tying of midges for our new video. After discussing this never before caught on video segment we thought of using a larger vise. You know, so that things are easier to see. So I brought down the 10 inch Craftsman bench vise from the garage. I had to modify the bench top to support the vise but with Jack’s help we made do. Jack, what a great guy. I started with the jaws open to the full 10 inches wanting to get this perfect. I’m sure we wasted a lot of video but I feel Jack can edit that out latter. Placing the hook between my thumb and index finger I slowly tightened the vise until I felt a slight pain. It was more like the sting of a scorpion but Jack was there to help. I extracted my thumb and finger from the vise but the hook was nowhere to be found. The absence of blood had me confused because I had the distinct sensation that something was deeply imbedded into my finger. I conferred with Jack and we both agreed that the wire diameter of the hook was smaller than the corpuscle diameter of the red blood cells which prevented their escape. The finger has begun to suppurate so I think that in time the hook will work its way out. | |
| Falsifly Designated by Troutnut as the heir to Pat McManus | ||
| Falsifly | January 31st, 2008, 1:36 am | |
| Hayward, WI. Posts: 108 | After the #36 fiasco Jack and I thought it might be easier to demonstrate the midge using a larger hook and smaller vise. While at Bob’s I was fortunate enough to pick up another equally rare package of hooks. Bob said they were 20/0 saltwater. He said he sold them to the tug boat operators on the Great Lakes. I asked what for and he just mumbled something about towing ships. It was a brand name that I wasn’t familiar with but Jack and I agreed to give it a try. That was a decision met with some trepidation as I certainly didn’t want the hook to break while fishing for those beautiful little Goldens at that secret little Alpine lake located atop the Rocky Mountains. The same place were I got lost last year and had to hitch a ride on that low flying Boeing 747 and ended up in San Francisco. But that’s another story. After consulting with my buddy Jack we commenced to mounting the 20/0 hook into the midge head of my Renzetti Traveler. We had to use the torch but I succeeded in extinguishing the burning tying bench before it turned to ash. With Jacks help of course. This was a stroke of good fortune because this bench was heavily inlaid with gold. We both agreed that we could salvage the gold and include a short video segment on tying gold-bead head nymphs. Just before we began to video I realized that I forgot to pick up a spool of midge thread at Bob’s. Jack suggested using one of my shoe laces with a 12 inch pair of channel locks for a bobbin. I’m telling you Jack’s ingenuity in a pinch is absolutely astounding. Well I started binding in the makeshift thread when the phone began to ring. I reached over to pick up the phone and caught my left arm bicep on the point of the hook and made a perfect 6 inch incision. WOW! I was really going to need Jack’s help now. Jack and I rushed to the hospital emergency room and upon entering were immediately confronted by security. It seems that they were more concerned about Jack then they were about my blood soaked arm. I told them that Jack was attending to my medicinal needs until I could get to a doctor. Jack was quickly taken into custody and hauled off to the security room for what I assumed would be a routine interrogation of the mishap. I was directed to the receptionist after whom I was lead to a small room and told that the doctor would be in shortly. The doctor entered stumbled almost to his knees while simultaneously covering his mouth and nose with his hand. I heard him mumbling something about the overwhelming presence of Jack Daniels. As the doctor examined my arm mentioning something about stitches I asked if he was going to use an anesthetic. He said that in my inebriated state I wouldn’t need one. I don’t understand doctor talk so inebriated state went over my head. He pulled out a needle that looked a lot like a barbless pupae hook about #14. I watched him tie in the thread but didn’t recognize the knot; I thought maybe a blood knot but didn’t ask for fear of sounding stupid. As he began to wrap me up I mentioned that I too was a tier of sorts. He asked what sort was that. I said flies. He said so you are a fly fisherman. I said no I don’t fish for flying fish I fly fish for fish with a fly. He gave me a quizzical look from which I deduced that he was not a fly fisherman. I thought that doctors were fluent in Latin so he should have understood. But than again being fluent in Latin as I am I should have understood inebriated state. At about the twenty-fifth stitch, up to which I hadn’t felt a thing, I started to expound on the importance of proper hackling. He asked what hackle is and I said chicken feathers. He said that I must be one heck of a hackler and I said that yes I am one hack of a heckler so good in fact that I was doing a video on it. At this point the doctor asked how I had lacerated my arm and I told him it was a fly tying accident. I said that I was going to include this mishap in the video to stress the importance of safety. He said that he didn’t know fly tying was so hazardous. I asked him if he tied flies and he said no. I said well there you go. As he finished the last wrap I asked if he was going whip finish it. He asked what I meant and I said adding five or six more wraps to keep it from coming undone. He said that he didn’t feel that was necessary. I was going to argue the point but didn’t. I did learn some new knots and I couldn’t wait to tell Jack. I think we can fit them into the new video. After being released I made my way to the security room in search of Jack. And sure enough there sat Jack between the two security guards who were laughing and joking and having a good old time. As I grabbed Jack to leave the guards told us to stop in any time. We finally made it home and thought it would be a good idea if we suspended the rest of the day’s tying session. So we spent the remaining time talking. You know with Jack around I don’t even miss the Wife and Kids. | |
| Falsifly Designated by Troutnut as the heir to Pat McManus | ||
| Martinlf | February 1st, 2008, 5:40 pm | |
| Palmyra PA Posts: 907 | Another very entertaining installment, thanks for the laughs. | |
| Louis Is it not an art to deceive a trout with an artificial fly? A trout! that is more sharp-sighted than any hawk . . . and more watchful and timorous than your high-mettled merlin is bold! --Izaak Walton The Compleat Angler | ||
| Shawnny3 | February 1st, 2008, 8:05 pm | |
| Pleasant Gap, PA Posts: 541 | Yes, keep 'em coming, Falsifly. I hope you're saving these for your next book. -Shawn | |
| Jewelry-Quality Artistic Salmon Flies, by Shawn Davis www.davisflydesigns.com | ||
| Flybyknight | February 1st, 2008, 9:21 pm | |
| Milton, DE Posts: 65 | Louis' by-line: "Is it not an art to deceive a trout with an artificial fly? A trout! that is more sharp-sighted than any hawk . . . and more watchful and timorous than your high-mettled merlin is bold!" --Izaak Walton The Compleat Angler Duly noted. Dick | |
| Lightly on the dimpling eddy fling; the hypocritic fly's unruffled wing. Thomas Scott | ||
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